Upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processingthat took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all othersystem activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0,Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the systemwhenever selected.I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whileattempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about goingback to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!Thanks,
A Troubled User.

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REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to runEVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return toGirlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program filesfrom the system once installed.You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual underWarnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that youkeep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installingthe background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate softwareaugmentation.The best course of action is to enter the commandC:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE commandbefore the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be veryhigh maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such asClean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.However, be very careful how you use these programs.Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 isto purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 andDiamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, installSecretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported byWife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support