Do I still believe what I am believe?

I am the one never believe that obtained degreeholder can be marketable for job hunt. After finish my college studied, I start work in KL. This was my first job as Company Secretarial Junior Assistant with the M'sia Top 10 audit firm company.

Less than 1 years I left the company, the reasons were I am person who are outgoing wish to communicate with people and marketing/management. I like to think and be creative, look for proper changes requirement and always adapt to the society lifestyle. I left the company......I try to explore the other industry. I am like genuine pig walking in KL.

2 months after, I finally joined this financial industry as management trainee. I work for this company for almost 1year6months. I learned a lot, meeting different level of people(from the CEO/vice president level to general clerk), I have went to every corner of the KL and PJ. I even have put myself into danger/stranger, lucky I am still a live until today. I have lost many things, like my car(stolen), housemate(move to penang), and some friends. I gained regret, uncertainty and lost.

I wish to change to another industry, put my wish that more company will open door for me to enter. I finally decide to pursue my degree in UK. I just need to went there for summer program-3 months for 5 subjects(prepare assignment and exam). I meet new friend there and stay at the country which is 7 hours different from M'sia. At that point of time I am feeling like move to another world. Although is 3 months++ only, felt like 3 years over there. The weather was breezing everyday and everynight. I have no problem to prepare for the 5 subjects there and get quite good result. Then I realise my past working experience make me grow a lot to communicate and interact with people. I have met many knowledgeable lectures and the experience they have shared is priceless. I have gained my positive energy and prepare myself to find job in KL again.

I am here in the world top 3 financial/banking company, before that I have in/out for 2 companies. I always tell myself "let's have a try and see what happen then......"! At the end always regret ending to leave the company. Before I choose the recent new company, I hav 2 offers from both side, I receive the good news during chinese new year at my hometown-kk. If they not call me, maybe I not come back to KL already. They give me a call and I have to make the choice. Another company is consultant firm, the salary guaranteed more than RM2500. I din choose it at the end of the day. Because I have to send to Asia Pacific country perform my job function for 3-6months rotately and allocate to new location. I seldom will stay in M'sia, except holiday. That consulting firm is listed in Mesdaq. The training they may provide for me, other people need to spend RM30k to study for the particular professional skills. But I reject......

I like to do management planning and marketing, cause I like to approach people, communicate and public relations. I wan to perform some customer service task, target for the month achievement. I want to prepare quality proposal which can put my ideas in and make it work for the company. I like to presentation to educate/deliver the message to the right candidates. I prefer to participate in the exhibition/trade fair to meet people. I wan to brush up all the skills and knowledge that cant learn from the book. Aih......

Today I really confuse that......who shall I talk to ? Share to? Do I Still Believe What I Believe ALways? Do I still Have the Patience to Wait and See? Do I need to always put myself in Dangers journey back home? Do I? What Shall I Do? Beside now I am temporary become Batman......no more early bird, if I wake up as early bird, I will turn into Panda/owl.

Never ending confuse and lost......